I start out with please don't be angry with me nor judge but I no longer subscribe to single mothers' taking homage on Father's Day. This never sat well with me because I'm not a father; don't look like one, think like one, act like one and specifically don't feel like one. I have absolutely no knowledge on how, don't want to nor desire to be one! I say that with passion because through the grace of God I may have appeared, as a single mother, while taking on the role of "Head of household, did a great job. However, I do not wish this whole concept of single parenting on any woman nor take it lightly. When I think of those especially very young mother's willing and doing it alone, my heart cries. This is one of, if not the hardest job in the world and God forbid if your not successful at it. You check out the statistics. I would of preferred a father for my son on any given day, even now.
Now some of you may not feel the same but having one parent raising any child or children, by choice, is not divinely ordained by God but a two parent household is. WHO told us and yes I include myself that we could remotely accomplish such a task? A woman raising a man! and I take my hat off to all of us who have and still are in the trenches. God certainly did not tell us, so who did? It was the devil, ole slew foot, the great deceiver!
My pastor preached today about marriage, according to the book of Ephesians (you look it up, there will be no scripture references given out in todays blog:) Just like the devil told women and wives in particular that they are suppose to complete their man and husband's; this is and always will be a fallacy. Jesus is the ultimate brides-groom, the head of the household, the bread winner, the priest, prophet and provider, so He divinely ordained man to be and do likewise, to take care of his family. But here we are, sisters, doing or should I say "trying" to do it all. This is why our man ends up resenting us! that's a powerful statement I know, but Steve Harvey said it too. If we're not careful our sons will also, he's not your man, he's your son. A man needs to be a man and God ordains him to be a father then he must. Yea! they mess up, but so do we. And guess what? we loved and laid down with them, now who's at fault. But God's grace is sufficient and His mercy is with each new day.
So here's the TRUTH; we're not fathers; wasn't ordained to be. If we choose or not because that man ran out, then we do what God has ordained us to do---that's to mother! Yes and because we're ordained, divinely by God, oh yes we will be successful and so will our sons and daughters. I look like a mother, think like a mother, act like a mother and specifically feel like one! Because what comes from God feels good, because He is good. Now He, God is the Father, never ran out and never will. I've always told my son, "God is your Father and that you can depend on!" When he turned ten, I said, "son, I've done all I can do for you as a mother, the rest is up to your father. I cannot teach you how to be a man, but God can." Read the bible and pray for His guidance...
So, Mars stop taking on more than God has divinely ordained you too. Your a mother and a doggone good one. Let fathers be just that, fathers, whether present or not. So, when and if he do come around our children won't be confused. Because they'll start repeating our language of confusing, talking about how can you be my father when my mother is? "My mother said she's my daddy". Tell your children the truth, God is the head of this household and my mothering you is only for a moment. We'll continue to pray for our absent fathers without bitterness. I always tell my son to pray for his father, that he will get it together with himself and God, then come back and see about you! Remember the prodigal son...when he came to himself, he remembered that he had a father...His father saw him afar and with outreached arms welcomed his son back home. That's what God is to us, welcoming us back into His arms, welcoming us back home. Will you be the one to teach your son to do the same when his earthly father returns or will he be bitter like you; stop calling his absent father all kinds of names so that his own son will not even recognize nor recieve him when and if he returns. This is only if you pray for our fathers to come back, not to us but our sons...you maynot need him but they do.
Application: teache your son about their heavenly father while the earthly father is absent.
I believe in God our Father,
Jerri of Mars
Love this. Sis powerful message and I agree.
ReplyDeleteI've never taken an appreciation for the "Happy Fathers Day" sentiment bestowed to me as a single mother raising a female child... simply because I am not a father; and as Geri states quite effectively, nor do I choose to be. I am FEMALE, I am MOTHER, if I were raising a son, my role as PARENT quite possibly would be that much tougher because a WOMAN cannot teach a male child how to be a man. We can only instruct and guide up to a point and the rest has to come from a MAN. But glory to God because we can turn to him for anything we or our children may be lacking in because our heavenly Father will and does provide sufficiently and abundantly in all ways!
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Geri.
-Vanessa, NYCC