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Monday, May 23, 2011

Mama's Boy? part 2

 Here I go again Mars,
     So, when our sons start to date, we will refrain from putting in our 2 cents and giving a "piece" of mind, all the time. Trust what we have instilled in them. Let them go, continue to have conversations with them, also check out the females they tend to sway towards, you might or mightn't find yourself, but a girl totally opposite of  you. This is alright, though.
     My son seems to have a fancy for very light skin girls of Latin decent. I do know for sure that they will not be a "loud mouth" like his momma, sorry to say. He has helped me in that area, when nobody else could and I respect him for that. He dislikes yelling.
When our son becomes working paper eligible, I can only suggest the following:
1. Do his own laundry.
2. Wash his dishes and be shown how to spot clean aka sweep, wipe off things, esp the toilet/sink after each use (we know about pee pee stains)
3. Clean his own room and in his time not yours (no need in constantly yelling about his messy room) if it gets too dirty just close the door, in his own time, he'll clean it.
4. If he does not get a summer job by age 14 then he should get an allowance for doing some chores (regularly and only if you can afford to) Cleaning his room is not a chore! its an obligation.
[I only suggest an allowance to start teaching him about being financially responsible]
5. He should be taught early to earn his own money and save for those finer things in life (cell phone, expensive sneakers, designer clothes, etc) that teens often lusts after.
6. Company should only come over if he keeps up his part of these responsibilities and especially if his room is clean. You see now the room gets cleaned!
     These are just a few, but only if there tried, you will see there proven to work! My prayer is that as a mother you're practicing these things already. If you don't have a regime or routine in life then he probably will not either. Talk to him and only raise your voice if absolutely necessary. He's growing older and he needs to be shown respect. To much is given much is required. Involve responsible men (your father, uncle, godfather, brother) in the lives of the two of you. Not your "man", pardon the expression, especially if he's not in touch with his own or have none. Even if your engaged to be married to someone other that his father, you still need to proceed with caution. Our sons cannot be bought or bargained with, so the man can keep his gifts. Some men will try this tactic so he can gain our sons favor, only to obtain time with us, but what happens when he leaves? Another topic for another time.
     The right God-sent husband-to-be will know what to say and when to step in or not. There needs to be someone, close to you both, that when you cannot get through, then that person will get on board. Remember Mars, you can't do this alone and you are not suppose to either. Don't be like Mama Jones and treat your son like a boy or "your man", he's neither. God is always in control.

Sincerely,
Jerri of Mars