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Monday, May 23, 2011

Mama's Boy? part 2

 Here I go again Mars,
     So, when our sons start to date, we will refrain from putting in our 2 cents and giving a "piece" of mind, all the time. Trust what we have instilled in them. Let them go, continue to have conversations with them, also check out the females they tend to sway towards, you might or mightn't find yourself, but a girl totally opposite of  you. This is alright, though.
     My son seems to have a fancy for very light skin girls of Latin decent. I do know for sure that they will not be a "loud mouth" like his momma, sorry to say. He has helped me in that area, when nobody else could and I respect him for that. He dislikes yelling.
When our son becomes working paper eligible, I can only suggest the following:
1. Do his own laundry.
2. Wash his dishes and be shown how to spot clean aka sweep, wipe off things, esp the toilet/sink after each use (we know about pee pee stains)
3. Clean his own room and in his time not yours (no need in constantly yelling about his messy room) if it gets too dirty just close the door, in his own time, he'll clean it.
4. If he does not get a summer job by age 14 then he should get an allowance for doing some chores (regularly and only if you can afford to) Cleaning his room is not a chore! its an obligation.
[I only suggest an allowance to start teaching him about being financially responsible]
5. He should be taught early to earn his own money and save for those finer things in life (cell phone, expensive sneakers, designer clothes, etc) that teens often lusts after.
6. Company should only come over if he keeps up his part of these responsibilities and especially if his room is clean. You see now the room gets cleaned!
     These are just a few, but only if there tried, you will see there proven to work! My prayer is that as a mother you're practicing these things already. If you don't have a regime or routine in life then he probably will not either. Talk to him and only raise your voice if absolutely necessary. He's growing older and he needs to be shown respect. To much is given much is required. Involve responsible men (your father, uncle, godfather, brother) in the lives of the two of you. Not your "man", pardon the expression, especially if he's not in touch with his own or have none. Even if your engaged to be married to someone other that his father, you still need to proceed with caution. Our sons cannot be bought or bargained with, so the man can keep his gifts. Some men will try this tactic so he can gain our sons favor, only to obtain time with us, but what happens when he leaves? Another topic for another time.
     The right God-sent husband-to-be will know what to say and when to step in or not. There needs to be someone, close to you both, that when you cannot get through, then that person will get on board. Remember Mars, you can't do this alone and you are not suppose to either. Don't be like Mama Jones and treat your son like a boy or "your man", he's neither. God is always in control.

Jerri of Mars

Thursday, May 19, 2011

A Mama's Boy?

Ok Mars,
       I will admit, I watch Love & Hip Hop and the finale was on the other night. All I want to say is Chrissy (rapper Jim Jones girlfriend) is a strong and sophisticated young lady. She has standards and although she has been "living in sin" (her exact words) with Jim Jones for 6 years; she's adamant about getting married and having children. In that order!
After waiting patiently for Jones to "grow up", she decided to propose to him. Well, his M-O-T-H-E-R, as she likes to spell out (with her crazy self) had a hissy fit. What does Jones do? Nothing! He sits back and allows his mother and girlfriend to go at it, but never too far in front of him.
     I'm saying all this just to say, Jim Jones is a Mama's Boy! This characteristic is fine, if your under age 10 but by his 20's and 30's, and after he's found a woman that he loves; it's time to put those boyish ways aside. When a grown man, so he appears and like to believe he is; allows his mama to run his life, then he needs to do some serious soul searching. Mamas' too!
     Mars, we can only be responsible for ourselves because even though they're our baby boys literally; they are not to be treated or psychologically considered as one. This is why I write to you. As our boys grow older, we need to make very sure that we've instilled in them the necessary qualities that should and will sustain them. This way they will not continue to be led by our ideologies. Mothers if you don't start to get a life by the time your boys become age 10, then you need to start now!
     I want to keep this topic short so I will write part 2 in a few days, until then...remember you are not alone. We have a Father who is a very present help in our times of need, seek Him.

Jerri of Mars

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Dear Mars,
     As I sit here again thinking of what to write about, I would like to first say thanks to all of you that don't mind my weekly interruptions into your lives. I'm just trying to do what God told me too as well as give and reach back to bless others with what He has bestowed upon me.
     Sistah Valerie, I may have told you this but I will say it again, I know you are not a mother but your a prayer warrior. So, continue to pray for our mothers raising sons alone, I love you!
     I hear God saying, long suffering: This word appears in the bible 16 times. For the record, according to the dictionary, it means to patiently endure as a noun and as an adjective means to endure patiently difficulties or hard times. Did I also mention that longsuffering is done by not complaining, being capable. Are we capable?
     As one of the nine fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22) one would have to be given this by God in order to endure or have the capacity to endure as a good servant of the Lord. We must believe and know that God is longsuffering in His mercies towards us. If we want to reign with Jesus we must also suffer with Him.
     I'm saying all this because we're in hard times in which all of you are aware, so let's not lose sight of God, who's in control. When we go through hardship via sickness, death, despair, loss of job, stolen properties, strains with in our relationships with friends, families and associates, know that God must be in control if we're going to come out successfully. Also, don't forget that we will come out but its how we go through that God and others look at.
     God spoke to me about my son and his purpose in Him; that he is a prince. I said God, a prince? Yes, prince means Israel: one who prevails for God and man. Now when I hear and see how he, my son, is going through his spiritual walk, my fleshly eyes cannot see because they are deceiving. However, I remember what God said, and then my spiritual eyes and ears open up. So, hearing my sistah Kim give her testimony about her son, my godson, I reminded to believe God.
     It's hard and difficult to see our love ones go through even when they don't even know they are or don't quite understand, but remind them that God's in control.
God allows my vulnerability to be manifested to my son, even very early in the morning when I think he's sleeping. As I pray and cry out to God with my gratitudes, cares and requests, my son somehow knows when to come into my room and ask me questions. Then there are times when he knows that I'm interceding for others to God and he doesn't bother. Even God's in control of times like that.
     So, let's not be so cold, hard hearted and stiff-necked with our cares. Express them to the capable ears of the Almighty, Jehovah Shammah. He tells us to cast our cares upon Him, why? because He cares for us. Who else can care for us like the Father? Who holds the entire world in the palm of His hand? Who took His perfect finger and carved out the valleys and with His magnificent hands molded the mountains? God is great and great is His name. So, minute are our cares and longsufferings as mentioned above. Let's get back to the basics, His plan is simplistic, let go of ours and grab a hold of His. God's plan has already been accomplished, so why not get on His and go through. Were only going to come out as pure gold being the lump of coal that we are. Coals are made to be purified, made to withstand the most hottest of heat, like the Hebrew boys. God is in this with us, He's not looking down cheering for us, He is Here! Jehovah Shammah. (Psalms 139[read it]).

Always in love with Jesus,
Jerri of Mars

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Happy Mother's Day...

EverFloris African Violets
African Violets

       To all the mothers out there in the land of Mars. Although this day is and should be celebrated everyday; let those who desire to appreciate you, love on you, lather you with gifts, money and whatever else they choose to give big or small because all that really counts is the thought.
       If somebody YOU think does not acknowledge you please don't take it personal because in the end it's God's love bestowed upon us that really matters most. This is the day...

Jerri of Mars