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Thursday, June 23, 2011

Pray and faint not...

Good day Mars,

     My prayers are that your sons have had an opportunity to connect with their fathers on that special day, that has so quickly come and gone. Also that they will continue the process of connection as times goes by. My son did. He went early to see his dad and said the man slept for a few hours before he got up and did something "worthwhile".
     I spoke with a man who has several children "out of wedlock" but he claims his position as a father is good. I would love to hear his children's story. The bible says to believe no man...for the most part, his oldest son is incarcerated. He wrote and sent him a card that was touching as well as humorous. He also stated that his son proclaims that he is a good dad and even quoted one his favorite sayings from his dad.
    On that note, we need to "talk" to our sons and to their fathers too. Bishop TD Jakes made a startling analogy, he said, "women have heard men moan, curse and even preach but they have never heard them talk". This is so true for most of us, right. I mean we know their favorite color, what foods they like, etc...but how are they coping with life? Being a father, a son themselves, a brother, uncle, a man that just happens to be black, the list goes on. The Bishop also said, "its hard being a man!" I guess it is, because it is very hard being a woman, single, black, hard working, parents deceased and brothers in other countries(speaking for myself).
     However always know that the words we speak to our sons (daughters) do not fall on deaf ears. Think about it, everything your parents told you manage to sprout up at the most opportune times, right? The bible says, 'that our labor is not in vain, if we labor in Him', (I'm paraphrasing).
     So, be encouraged and continue to run the race that is placed before you. Do not faint and never stop praying, knowing that what we ask Jesus in accordance to His will, will be granted because it glorifies the Father. Be careful what you pray for!
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Grace & Peace,
Jerri of Mars

Friday, June 10, 2011

Bringing fathers any means necessary!

Good day Mars,
     First of all, I must baby boy or to put it honestly my young man is away this weekend. He went to a gaming conference with 10 of his friends, out to NJ. His first time, away to another state w/out me, a class trip or church outing. So, I googled his hotel and they picked a very nice one with great amenities. He called me just a few minutes ago and reassured me that all is well.
     You know he tried to give a challenge about submitting the hotel information to me, but I had to pull out some big names to call regarding this matter, like my brother and his father, then he reconsidered. You know my son thinks because he's 6'2 and 20 yrs old, um that he's grown. He went as far to accuse me of "not trusting him" and how I can't call him every hour. Well, I have to confess that my lil feelings were hurt. I even woke up with an attitude. By the time he came to give me a hug/kiss goodbye; he sensed my distance. He said, "mom you can call me", but I decided to text him instead. OK, I called him once, during my lunch hour. He was only gone 3 hours by then. I know, I'm bad but he's not just my son, he's my buddy! My dad used to say, we act more like brother and sister, but he knows I'm mom, the Queen!
     So Mars, as Father's Day draws near, let's start to find suggestive ways to speak positively about our son's dad. I will be apart of a free virtual tele-conference for parents through an organization named, Raising Him Alone(RHA), pls google them. These brothers' are headquartered out of Maryland in conjunction with Speaking of Maryland, it's one of the wealthiest states in the USA(a lil trivia). OK back to this forum: conference call...they will be discussing the crisis concerning fatherlessness, the drama and trauma surrounding African American communities. They have been trying to reunite fathers, sons and families for several years now. Whether our fathers MIA was due to incarceration, drugs, and/or despondency the list goes on, fathers want/need to go back and reunite. So, if you know a father who desires to do this very thing, encourage him. Also, if you know of a mother that is not having it, encourage her too, let her know the relationship is important to her child. In the end, it's all about the total well-being of our son(s) as well as daughters.
Remember, we're never alone unless we choose to be...God is still the greatest father.
Jerri of Mars

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Good day Mars,

     I'm perplexed today...first I love this weather! and next I just read an article regarding raising "black" males in single parent households which made me angry. True, the statistics are not good but that's the world's business. In the kingdom, we have all we need to successfully raise positive black males, right!
     Yes, our jails, graves, and mental institutions are filled with our brothers, sons, nephews and others alike. But, so is the corporate sectors, universities, and government jobs too.
     In this article one fool went as far to say, 'single mothers depend on the government to raise their sons', 'we try to template single parenting', and 'we should make our own sperm if we don't think we need fathers'.
     Now, I'm really heated. These comments are only worth repeating to let you know just how negative, evil and inconsiderate those kind are. Most folk don't believe we promote single parenting, no never! Mars agrees and bears witness that "we need fathers" and if you disagree then we'll continue to pray for those moms. Nobody, no woman, in her "right" mind, would rather raise a child alone.
     Now I know there are some that because of life altering circumstances, would go as far to seeking out a sperm bank (not sperm donors) or a surrogate mother to have a child. Even in cases where the child needs to be protected. This is another topic, but I will say this, please if you know somebody out there considering this type of predicament, let them know that a "father figure" is still very necessary for either girl or boy. Nobody should do this alone.     
     It's one of the hardest jobs in the world and all the money in Egypt will not make up for the lack of hands-on, emotional and physical support.
    But, I hear God say, trust in Him always, and lean not unto your own understanding but in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path! Proverbs 3:4-5.
The kingdom of God has and will continue to make their own statistics. So please, like I always suggest to you Mars, reach and give back to someone else who is less fortunate than you. Be led by God...
Jerri of Mars