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Friday, January 7, 2011

In all things...its working out for our good, to those that believe

Dear MARS,
     I'm so very grateful to God for His love and patience with me and how I often use what He has given me to pass on to my son. This morning I left my son and his father asleep; our son in his bed as his father laid on the floor beside him. I believe the last time they did this our son went away to their family reunion some 10 years ago. You see I unwisely decided to become a single mother, not knowing what that entailed. You know I was young, tired, pissed off at him and thought this was something "I could do by myself". Wrong! but through the grace of God I did it! Single parenting is not to be taken lightly and my heart aches to see young girls take this path. Raising any child, children, girls and yes in my case a boy, is tremendous. This topic I will save for another time of "preachin"(smile).
     Getting back to what I left at home, my son and his father, a wonderful sight. His dad called before dawn and said to his son, he was on his way. In the snow and straight from work and tired. Where his father was "occasionally" present: his birth, all birthdays til 13, and all holidays. However, around age 9, his father started falling off, so to speak. His visits, even special occasions, became less and less. By the time our son graduated high school in which his dad did show, our son had become very bitter toward him. I would bring up his name or say how much he reminds me of him, and our son would freak out. Through all his hurt and pain, I watched intently, praying. The only advice I could offer was that his dad loves him and he cannot allow his pain to overtake him. I also iterated that one day him and his father will again be together and if not, never forget the times he was there for him, for us.
     I am not sure how my words affected him but I continued to believe God and pray. Low and behold, slowly but surely his father started to call again and managed visits. I know that this did my sons' heart good. He loves his father.
     So, I stand here today believing what the word of God says, "...we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him..."(Romans 8:28). So mothers stay focus, positive and strong in what you desire for your children's relationship with their father. Not what you want for you because the idea of you getting back with dad may be out of the question. But 9 out of 10 times, a father will always desire to be an ideal one. This is the will of God concerning our sons life, to have a positive role model although not perfect but nonetheless, he is his dad. God bless you all and keep the faith. In the words of Rutgers University, football player #52; Eric LeGrand - Believe...

Jerri of MARS


  1. Deep stuff! Truly it can be said that we set our expectations of a perfect man for ourselves and when the sons father fails to meet them we disqualify him as a father as well. I do agree. Unfortunately both relationships require tremendous amount of work and the cycle of fatherless young men has been going on for so long. Keep writing Miss MARS! The world need to hear what sayeth...the mother.

  2. Praise God, He is Good and HIS mercy endureth forever, not our will but HIS will be done. We never know the complete plan of God that's why it would behoove us (single mothers) to speak blessings not curses, life and death is in the power of the tongue. What you did all of these years was speak life about your sons father so now that is manifesting.."It really does matter what we say"!!!! Weather we as singles mothers want to beleive it or not our sons need fathers in there life one way or another, we were only created to take them to a certain level to become a MAN!!!

  3. Jerri my beautiful sister.Women like me need to hear things like this please keep it going it help a sister like me.

    love always
    lil kimmie


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