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Monday, April 4, 2011

Back to mothering

Good day Mars,
Well this past week has been a doozy. My one and only was complaining about stomach pains and then began to vomit, for two days. A couple of months ago, I too was vomiting and was self diagnosed as having a stomach virus. Well, I then to thought that my son had the same, after all he had all the symptoms.
By the next night, at about 3am, he again continued with the obvious symptoms. By morning I decided to stay home and was advised to take him to his doctor. By the time the doctor looked him over, she then strongly suggested to take him to the emergency room. She suspected appendicitis. From 4:30 until 11 pm, he was confirmed and admitted. Surgery was scheduled for 7:30 the next morning: Friday.
Let me kindly express that when your baby turns 16 years/older, you better have monies for a private room because that's the only way you will be able to stay the night, in the hospital with him. Well at least this is what I was told. His father and I went to our separate homes only to return the next morning. His father was 15 minutes too late to see our son to the operating room. 
All was well, God is good! But I could not help but feel as though I had let my son down and this is why...We have never had so much as a common cold. Yea, he was stitched up at the tender age of 6 but nothing more than that. My sorrow came during church when my Pastor preached about the veil covering Moses face. This represented God's glory but since Jesus' death the veil has been removed but we like most  believers and Jewish people still are living under the old covenant. How is this so, because even now when the word is read, most believers hearts are still dull to God's glory which is His presence through Jesus Christ. In which we live, move and have our being; we are free to stand in His presence and receive His glory. We walk still in darkness, not free which leads to ignorance.
Nobody is exempt, we all at times walk with Jesus and not in Him. He is the truth, the light and the only way back to the father. Being that I am human and sometimes fall in the category of walking with Him, I felt as though I was not on my job, as his parent, to really investigate what was really going on with my son. God had to send someone else to tell me to take him to the doctor. Had it been left up to me and my lack of understanding it could have not been so successful. I don't beat myself up because God looks out for His own, even in our ignorance.
However, I am so very grateful to Him. He is faithful, loving and kind. I totally believe God for healing and if I didn't know anything that night, I knew that our son was going to be just fine. As for his mother, God is not through with me yet and I diligently seek Him. Besides this whole ordeal was about Jibrii getting to know Him as healer and I guess to sharpen me. Remember, iron sharpens iron...


Many blessings,


Jerri of Mars