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Monday, January 27, 2014

The Thing About Fear Is...

Hey Mars,

     I can only share to you what is presently real for me, right? So, what has been revealed by the Holy Spirit is dealing with fear and the "what ifs" that come with it. Whatever fear is to me; may not be for someone else, but we all have them. I'm learning that I must first acknowledge my fear and chose to totally trust the Lord God with it and then totally seek Him until He takes it away.  I'm doing this bible study on Soul Detox via YouVersion Bible app. It has everything to do the our soul: mind, will, intellect and emotions. You know the very strong compulsive characteristics that drive us as women.
     The reasons behind why we always have to give our thoughts, even when they are not warranted or solicited and/or say what's on "our mind" or "give somebody a piece of our mind". Especially, when you have NO peace to give. Oh, don't get it twisted were intelligent creations because He made us after Himself. Being so, we've all been through the universal school of basic education, some pursued college, have some street knowledge, mother's intuition, book smart, bible savvy and the list goes on. However, all of our emotions can somehow or another, can either all go out the window like bath water or get entangled like a vine, when it comes down to our emotions; the predominantly operable part of our soul.
     Personally, my greatest fear is growing old alone. Yes, when I think about Jesus and all He's done for soul cries out Hallelujah! But, there are days when my soul likes to ride on the arm of flesh and I start thinking... My son will one day move out, possibly get married and I will be physically home alone. Let's keep it real, our children will grow up and will move out. We thank the Lord God for that transition because this is the cycle of life. I am already in Empty Nest mode. I work, come home, cook if I feel like it and do whatever I very well please. I love it! Look forward to this time but just never pictured being a single "woman" at 50 years of age. Especially, after being a single mother for over 23 plus years...
     I've heard of stories where women have given up their life to Christ because I (raising my hand) am one of them. I made this choice with a sound mind and have never had more peace because I've had my share of dating both good and bad. I wanted to try and give my life to the Lord, so here I am! My life is good, never been better. He is the reason why I am single, but and there's that "but", I have my moments of "what ifs", yet I still believe my Father God for a mate, my Boaz! However, and without ever lowering my standards, I ask the Lord, "please let him love you just as much as I do"...let's keep in mind "the list" still stands but now I want him to be healthy, just like when were expecting a baby we would say. People will ask, "what do you want? a boy or girl?". Most of were smart enough to say, as long as my baby is healthy, it really doesn't matter. Yet, when that prayer is answered and you get the specific gender, then our smile gets just a little bigger.
     Like I am smiling now, because when I talk about my fears, first to my Father in heaven and then to you my sistahs, its all good, now I feel so much better. I know the effectual and fervent prayers are already being dispatched, thanks for the love!
Love caste out all fear,
Jerri of Mars

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